Should I Cry? Should I Laugh?

Life is full of those stupid moments where you have a decision to make: should I laugh, or should I cry? This happens way too often for me. Sometimes I cry, but most of the time I laugh with everyone else at my own silliness. You know what I'm talking about. When you say something, but mean something else. When you walk into a conversation at the wrong time. Life just happens and silly things get blamed on you. So, for the fun of it, I've made a list of the times when one needs to decide to laugh or cry. Judge which ones you would cry for or life for.
When you walk into a room where people are talking, and all you hear is, " I'd rather do it with my pants off."
If you, as a girl, walk into the girls bathroom and a man walks out of one of the stalls. "Oh no," you exclaim! "Am I in the men's restroom?" The man just glares at you and you realize it's a very ugly, very indistinguishable woman.
Pretend your texting someone by talking to your phone. You were just asked how was work. You tell your phone, " I'm pooped. It was hard. I had to take a bath and go to bed." But! Your phone misses one letter: "m". So, the response you send is "I pooped. It was hard. I had to take a bath and go to bed."
Let's say you're at a river watching several people swim. One guy has two or so tennis balls he has thrown into the river for his dog. He doesn't notice, but one of the balls start to float down the river. To help him notice and save the ball, you shout loud enough for him to hear above the water's roar and people's play, "Sir! Did you come with two balls?"
Pretend you come across someone you don't really like who makes you nervous. You expect them to ask how you are doing. So, without thinking about it, you respond "Good, how are you?" even though all they said was, "Hi!"
A long distance friend has come to see you. You haven't talked with her for a year so it's nice to catch up. She turns to the guy next to her and says that he is her husband. You didn't even know she was dating someone! And so, as your brain is racing with shock, wondering why you're not married yet, why you weren't even told she got married, and realizing how long you haven't seen your friend, you make yourself look like an idiot by saying, "Nnnnnniiiiiiicccceeeee . . . . . . to meet you!"
And the list can go on and on with crazy situations. Just so that you are aware, I didn't make any of these scenarios up. They either happened to me or my family members. Life's full of moments where you to decide to laugh or cry. Choose to laugh. You're a silly person who make silly mistakes, we all are. Life's more fun and relaxed when you can laugh at yourself.

Locked and Mocked

So, I work at a hardware store with rowdy boys and rough and tough girls. Everyone gets along in a pick-on-everyone type of way. It definitely is not for the faint of heart. A funny thing happened the other day, and I thought I would share.
Now the store that I work at is about a hundred years old. It is a very worn, tired building with many dark, cobweb infested places. To top it all, there is an attic where all of our back stock goes. It is also piled high with several dusty outdated suppliers. Just today I found an old cash register with the old kind of buttons you have to press down hard to make work.
Anyways, to my story. I went up the attic's old creaky stairs to find lost product tucked away in a dark corner somewhere. I could hear the tine roof rattling from outside and avoided the rat traps set up here and there. After finding what I needed, and sneezing away the dust that filled the air, I made my way back downstairs. I flicked off the lights, everything falling under a bleak haze. With the product in hand, I turn the doorknob.
And it turns,
and turns,
and turns,
and turns.
The door doesn't open. I stare at the door knob, remembering a fellow coworker, a mayor of a nearby town, joking about locking people up stairs occasionally. Why would you do that to me? I didn't do anything to him! But no, the door wasn't locked. The knob simply kept turning like a deranged carousel. I realized the door knob was broken. I stare at the thick wooden door that bared my way, the dark attic's dust curling around me.
My coworkers muffled conversations could be heard through the door. There is an office on the other side of the wall, surely someone will hear me. I sat down the product, make a fist, and pound the door. It's a solid door. Not very forgiving on bare fists. I hear someone walk past. I yell out! Can't they hear me? I'm right on the other side of the wall! Apparently not. I smile and shake my head, fishing out my phone and dial in those stores number.
"Millers home center, how can I help you?"
"Ah. . . . Hay, Phil. This is Heather. Can you open the door to the upstairs? I can't get out."
"Oh. Sure."
I waited in the dark, twiddling my thumbs, knowing that I would be mocked the moment my co-workers know what had happened. I sighed and waited for the door to open. In no time at all, the doorknob opens and light floods the stairway. I step out and look at those who are in the office. They stared at me, their looks asking what happened.
"I was pounding on the door," I said! "Are you all so busy you couldn't hear me?"
"Ha! You probably broke the lock while you were up there!"
"No I didn't!"
And so the mocking began. After a lot of laughs and jabs at my own ability to open a door, the excitement died down.
For a week or so afterwards, I didn't shut the attic door behind me. I don't want to be locked up there again. I don't want to be accused of breaking locks by merely touching them!
Oh well, makes for a good story.